In the world today the idea of a true friend has very little value. It is very common to hear music lyrics or watch shows where friendship is constantly being questioned and devalued. You might have been a part of or heard of close friends betraying or using each other and everyone seems to think everyone else is so called "fake."
However, while a lot of times it is hard to find good and genuine friends, it doesn't mean you have to be completely lonely and sad all the time. During a conversation at work today, a coworker stressed the importance of somebody just simply being there no matter what. Being there makes all the difference in the world yet often times we are too consumed in ourselves to recognize those around us who need us.
Having no friends isn't bad. Moving and being in a new city, lifestyle changes, or major disagreements with a close buddy are all examples of what leads to loneliness. You can always make new friends. There are a few important steps to make this possible.
Develop Social Skills
You must find a way to keep intriguing and healthy conversations. A key way to do this is ask a lot of questions. Step outside of yourself and look to gain interest in what others have to offer. You can build the conversation once you have created the foundation topics by asking questions. Make sure that you keep the conversation intelligent when you come across topics that really interest you or you have a good knowledge about. People like responding to those that they have things in common with.
Build Social Circle
Making friends is something that is learned. Things change and so do people. You must learn to adjust and adapt to those around you. Try to stay in areas that interest you and find groups with similar qualities to yours. It is also important not to judge right off the bat and dig a little bit past that initial judgment to see what else you can find out about people. It may be that you actually have more in common than you think.
If you happen to connect with someone, find more time during your week to see them in social settings. You will slowly begin to interact with more and more people like yourself and these people will probably bring you around their own social circle. The key is to maintain the bonds once they are created. Once you meet a few friends, bring them around each other. Allow them to interact and create your own group. Your circle will begin to form allowing you all to share ideas, plans, and create some great experiences with each other.
Lonely plus Shy
When you are lonely your body generates a signal alerting that you are lacking social experiences. This signal causes you to stress for connections and you become stuck in loneliness for no reason at all. It is the sense that you absolutely are in need of someone else.
When you are shy you are afraid. Social criticism often haunts those who are shy. Shyness is the fear of what might happen in social settings when you are being yourself. The reality is that you can't hide. People will read or interpret you and your interactions according to their own views, which is beyond your control. These views can be swayed in a negative direction by allowing shyness to restrain you and ultimately give them a sense you are rejecting them or being snobbish. As a result, you will be rejected and frowned upon.
Overcome both shyness and loneliness. Try to understand their true meanings and how they directly affect your social connections. Once you are able to get a grasp that they are both false and unnecessary, then you will be able to watch your friend count rise.
Mature By Nature provides articles and visuals for personal development. The blog looks to inspire growth and progress in order to live a healthier, happier, and more successful life. Its a motivational movement for ultimate self improvement.
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